“Hah! I’m going to do what I have always wanted to do!” I’d stride across the floor to the Speaker’s rostrum and politely invite the Speaker to step aside. “If he doesn’t oblige, I’ll use my pepper spray on him.”

As I take the microphone and the floor, I will realise that “it’s now or never!” Despite my earlier calls for democracy, freedom and justice, my first pronouncement will be: “Every single piece of legislation can only be passed by this parliament if I, the First Ruler-Protector of Malaysia, assent to it.” And thus, I will make my first mark as the absolute ruler of the nation.

Before I forget, I must ‘take care’ of the monarchs. No, I will not behead them. I will make them my golf kakis. Those who can’t play can be caddies. “Oh yes, must castrate them though, lest they become a pain in my autocratic government’s rear end.”
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